The Potato

Cassandra Basile: Staff Writer / Bio-Organic Dictionary

Summer is just around the corner, and for this particular year that means so are the summer Olympics. These Olympics are more closely related, than the winter ones are, to the games origins in Ancient Greece. Many competitions today are sports that were in the original games as well (track and field for example). However I do find it funny how the winter Olympics always seem to be adding competitions where as the summer games revoke them. However, this could spring from my bias toward the winter games (see you in Sochi, 2014). This year, my bias towards the winter games will take a back seat to an even greater fondness of mine. That is my affection associated with the British Isles. 

In a recent Yahoo article, it has been announced that the opening of this summer’s Olympics is to be kicked off by none other than James Bond himself. Asked by the queen Daniel Craig, the latest star to claim the title of 007, has graciously accepted.  This news was not taken lightly by the previous James Bond stars; one Scottish Brit in particular is rumored to be furious. 

Sean Connery has not yet released a statement, nor has his agent but many Scots have spoken up for him. Hamish McDuff, an individual us at the Potato had a word with, has been giving out his opinion on the matter. “I don’t think it right,” he began, “Our boy Connery ‘as much a claim to Bond as that puffy blond Englishman [Daniel Craig]. This is jus’ like the time he was written out of that third Indiana Jones, he was gonna be innit ya’ know, they jus’ wouldn’t let ‘em bring his Scotch on set. So out he went. Anyway, Octopussy was jus’ as good as tha’ Solace rubbish. ”  McDuff went on to say how much of a symbol of Scottish Pride Connery is; helping the nation remember that they aren’t just British citizens, they are Scotsmen.  McDuff also links recent rumors of Scotland’s succession to this incident as well, yet nothing as of now can be confirmed or denied. 

As we turn to the other previous Bonds, another name is brought up with seemingly no hard feelings toward this decision. Pierce Bronson, who portrayed this British secret agent in 1995’s Golden eye, hasn’t even batted an eyelash at the news. And according to his agent he is on holiday at the moment, so no statement has been released by him either. Although there was this parting statement made by one of his PR reps, “Pierce was raised in Britain but he isn’t British; he’s Irish. Do you really think he cares about yours silly summer games?” needless to say many went home with their tails between their legs after such a scolding.