The Potato

Robyn Macy: Staff Writer / Professional Skeet Shooter

 “He came into my class stumbling. I’d never seen him so… so drunk,” recalls Sophomore James Monroe concerning his latest encounter with SUNY Cortland’s dragon mascot, Blaze. “He was talking about being neglected and mistreated a lot…”

Recently, the news of the decision to import an actual Norwegian Ridgeback dragon from Romania, to help raise Cortland spirit, and replace the six foot one soft red mascot was released to the campus, and Blaze himself.

The change was caused by recent outbursts concerning Blaze’s name and the connotation connected with it. An e-mail was recently sent by Rhonda Moulton stating the following:

Sent on behalf of President Bitterbaum:

Blaze has been a loyal mascot to SUNY Cortland over the past decade, but asthe times are changing, so are the expectations of the university. In the coming years we’re to be represented by a mascot with more authenticity, and one who’s isn’t associated with smoking marijuana.

Since students frequently delete the e-mails without reading it, no one really cared. No one except Blaze. Blaze has been on a drinking binge since the announcement on Monday. According to sources, he’s been making rounds to all the bars, starting with Red Jug, finishing off at Neubig’s new nightclub, The Dark Dragon. He was found this morning sleeping on the Mongo Grill.

When asked for a comment on the new addition he merely hung his head low and walked away.

Faculty and students are all saddened by the decision. T-shirts that read “Free Blaze” have been seen worn from ASC staffers to Janitorial staff alike. No one it seems is excited about the change.

The new mascot is currently being kept in the water towers next to the DOWD fine arts building. He is to make his big debut at Cortaca in the fall, after he is trained to not kill anyone by accident.

The new dragon, Wally Ernest Evelyn Dunkin, will be referred to by his initials once he is introduced.