Fifty-First State Candidates Revealed
Cassandra Basile: Staff Writer / Bio-Organic Dictionary
Recently another political ploy has been brought to the forefront coinciding with this year’s Presidential election. You may have heard some rumors being spread in the past decade and I am excited to say they are now becoming tangible; we are to have a fifty first state. The decision for this has been revealed as well; Congress has finally caved to the idea that the production and sale of the new flag design may help boost the economy. More details have been leaked surrounding this momentous event. The biggest is the obvious question on everyone’s mind: Who will we annex?
Over the past ten years, in countless surveys and history channel specials there have been polls concerned with this very topic. The most obvious of these candidates are the protectorates Puerto Rico (or as Santorum refers to it “The Spanish speaking country” Puerto Rico), Guam, and American Samoa. Some other outrageous suggestions have been annexing Canada, a risky move which would turn into a war of the Western Hemisphere only resulting in an apology from the Canadians for resisting in the first place. Another suggestion came up that we should take back the Philippines, on the grounds that we liked them better when they spoke Spanish and English. However, to my dismay no had brought up the one territory I hoped they would: DC.
Now you may be thinking “Are you a moron? Washington DC is out capitol, therefore it is U.S territory”, this is a major misconception. DC is what we call a “Federal District” because of this the region is technically not part of the United States. This causes the people who live in DC to surrender their voting right, and this federal district factor also takes a toll on the amount of local government DC can have. I know many who think this is a wonderful idea, and because they do not live in DC themselves, could not care less about the peoples’ rights to vote or their representation in Congress. Other capitals that are federal districts include: Russia, Malaysia, India, Latin America, and Pakistan. Places the average American citizen would say are still Communist countries. There are some drawbacks to having DC as a fifty first state though.
As it failed to win the vote of Congress back in 1993, partial reasons included amending the Constitution altogether. To this I have to say would that not be a pro instead of a con? Amending the Constitution does not happen very often (try never) so why not change it up a bit and create some historic news and launch ourselves back into out capitalistic bubble of freedom. I feel Congress just does not want to do the work of amendments, even one that would rock, however if they just voted yes 18 years ago it would have been done by now and they would have gained another representative to help them be the lazy body of power they continue to be today.
