Rob Terry: Staff Writer / Psychic Cynic
Well, it’s St. Patrick’s Day again, and you know what that means. The leprechauns are coming to town. Each year GOLD (Good Ol Leprechaun Dudes) hosts a coin search for it’s members, and this year was no exception. I tried to become a member and join in on the search, but was turned down when Sir Shamus O’Shea informed me I couldn’t:
Me: Ah, yeah, I’d like to find gold coins today.
Him: Not a chance son.
Me: Why not?
Him: Ye ain’t a leprechaun!
Me: Yes I am! Don’t you see this green suit? And top hat and bow tie?
Him: Son, ye’re six feet tall with brown hair. Ye ain’t even Irish!
Me: Okay you caught me. Can I at least interview you about the event?
Him: Ya, if ye tell me how you found out about it.
Me: I was walking through the forest when I tripped on a root. When I looked down I saw it wasn’t a root, but a leprechaun bent over tying his shoe! I asked him what he was doing and he led me here.
Him: Fair enough. Where shall ye interview me?
Me: I’m thinking that sweet looking tree house over there.
Him: The clubhouse. Ok.
He opened a door in the tree to reveal a spiral staircase. These were certainly some crafty little leprechauns. He opened a wooden door to reveal a living room with a very small ceiling. I crouched the rest of the interview.
Me: So, who are you?
Him: Sir Shamus O’ Shea, President O GOLD.
Him: Good Ol Leprechaun Dudes.
Me: What is that?
Him: It’s a club laddy, a club for Leprechauns!
Me: Ok, cool, so tell me about this gold coin hunt.
Him: Of course laddy! So as everybody knows, there are gold coins everywhere, in every town in every country in the world.
Me: Of course.
Him: And our job, as Leprechauns, is to find those coins and keep them.
Me: Oh. That’s it?
Him: What do you mean that’s it?
Me: What do you do with the coins after you find them?
Him: We keep them.
Me: Yeah, but what do you do with them?
Him: We use them?
Me: Right. So why do you only search for them on St. Patrick’s Day.
Him: We don’t.
Me: Wait, what?
Him: We search for them everyday laddy!
Him: Of course!
Me: So why is today special?
Him: Cause it’s St. Patrick’s Day!
Me: But you look for them everyday?
Him: Yes, but its easier on St. Patrick’s Day!
Him: Cause everyone else is wearing green too! We blend in verrry well today.
Me: Ahh, I see.
Him: Yes, well, I best be headin’ back to the table. You need anything else?
Me: I’d like a gold coin?
Him: Not a chance.
Greedy little leprechaun.